It started in eighth grade when I first officially met Sisters and saw a piece of their life. My dad would go there for morning prayer sometimes on Saturdays and I would come with him. And I loved praying with the Sisters. I felt Jesus’ delight in us. It drew me to His Heart.
However, it would be a while before I really realized and considered God’s call to the religious life. I started feeling Him tugging at my heart, longing for me to do something – which I was not sure what it was – but I had an idea that it was religious life. It was very strong during college and I talked with a priest about it. But where? I visited many communities yet none seemed to fit. Even the Sisters I knew best (this community) did not seem to be where Christ was calling me.
So I struggled on. He made His call felt off and on, and I thought maybe I was mistaken and that it was only something I wanted. I considered marriage and even a good Catholic man, but Jesus was “jealous” and soon let me know that “No, I want you as My spouse! Search.” It seemed like an endless and unfruitful search.
His tugging at my heart was too obvious for me to ignore Him who is Love Himself, and I desired what He wanted. A Sister advised me then to pray three Hail Mary’s every day to know where and when God wanted me to enter. Jesus’ Mother, Mary, did help me and came through for me. God’s Providence is amazing. I searched, visited, and seriously considered the Poor Clares. I could not stand Jesus’ pull any longer, and I loved the Poor Clares and wanted to enter their community! However, I did not have the grace for that next step to enter that community. Consequently, I made a retreat to pray about it with the Sisters whom I had known for a long time (the Sisters of St. Francis of Perpetual Adoration here). Unbeknownst to me, it perfectly fit His plan. There, as I prayed for the grace to enter the Poor Clares, He prodded me gently to think about this community. Then, while praying in the adoration chapel, Jesus made it profoundly clear that this was the right community. I knew beyond a doubt it was here which was indeed a great grace which I attribute to Mother Mary’s influence. I was exuberant to know God’s will and for such a grace, but at the same time disappointed. I still desired the Poor Clares yet I felt called to this community. I talked to my wonderful parish priest, and God spoke through him. He said, “It’s obvious!” (At that moment it certainly was not clear to me.) He said, “It’s not what you desire, but what God calling you to do.” I then accepted the grace that He was truly calling me here to these Sisters. Trusting in Him Who desired my good, I said “Yes” to Him Who loves me and pursued me so faithfully.